Anyone who has known betrayal knows the long period of helpless hurting that follows. Whether the betrayal is of a spouse/lover who cheated on you, a friend who bad mouthed you instead of confronting you with his/her opinion, the Boss who did not stand up to the review board for your promotion after giving reassurances for months and making you slog, the sibling who mysteriously got aged parents to write all their family property in his/her name, the self styled Guru who in the name of trust and God took away everything dear to you, which could include your home and/or your freedom or just the maid /driver who took a big salary advance while going on leave and never got in touch again….every form of betrayal leaves a mark. And one challenge it invariably results in..the inability to trust!
Loss of the ability to trust is perhaps the greatest loss in life. Cause it is this ability on which all life thrives. Whether it is a baby monkey that clings to its mother while she jumps from tree to tree, or the human baby who gurgles and shrieks in joy when the parent tosses him in the air, their trust is instinctive and it is this trust that allows them to grow.
The same trust, atleast in humans, continues to keep getting eroded over a period of time. As the knowledge or belief grows that the world can be a mean place, where someone may toss you in the air but not catch you back in their strong arms, the trust starts to get replaced by cynicism. I have heard people say that those who we trust the most, hurt us the most. Hell, they are the only ones who have the capacity to hurt us. If we don’t trust, we don’t leave ourselves vulnerable, we put in place systems and procedures and contracts that protect our best interest. Despite all these protective measures we may still get cheated, but atleast we don’t get terribly hurt.
In the event that we do trust, when the betrayal happens, it is fairly difficult to recover from and trust again. Those who do trust again and get betrayed yet again are labeled as fools, as people who are stupid enough to not learn from their mistakes. But yet, there are those, who despite this unfavorable critique and name calling continue to trust. They continue to take chances in life, in love and experience it completely, wholly. Their eyes shine bright with anticipation of what may lie ahead, not dulled by pain and fear of being let down. They continue to trust and inspire trust!
The few or many negative data points that they may have collected does not alter their anticipation of the trajectory of life. They see the larger picture. They know it’s all good. They trust. And despite every set back, this trust heals them, makes them grow, makes them glow.
In trust
This beautiful quality eludes me from time to time…but thankfully, I have a short memory and go back to trusting again. My children on the other hand don’t yoyo as much as I do…for them each day is a new day…and their slate of trust is fresh and ready….
Wonderfully expressed.
“Bhavani-Shankaru vande shraddha-vishwaasarupinau…”–the benedictory invocation of Tulsidas’ Sri Ramacharitmanas. The great poet-saint has likened trust and faith to Bhavani and Shankara, respectively! That shows the greatness and the value of trust and faith.