Of all the roles and relationships I have had, motherhood has been the most gratifying, the one that has made me feel most complete. I was born to be a mother. Even as a little girl I would look after little babies wherever we went. My Ma used to say that people get a muft ki aaya(nanny for free) in me!
While no one can dispute the role of a mother, there is also merit in the popular saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Wonder if one could draw an analogy between a Mother and a project manager? She may get credit or brickbats, as the case maybe, but having a reliable team sure does make it easier to deliver a successful project! At the end of this Mother’s day, I’d like to thank all those to whom I shall always be grateful for their contributions that enabled me to perform my role as Mom.
Of course the 1st to thank would be the boys I mothered, cause frankly if they hadn’t been the kids they are(ok no longer kids, but still), loving, trusting, dynamic, adventurous, responsive, talented…how would I ever manifest all my potential to mother? With their zeal for life they made sure I never lost mine, despite any circumstances. With their quite acceptance of and faith in all my decisions, even those that affected them adversely, they taught me what unconditional meant. With their belief that their Mom will have all answers, they ensured I kept pace with all that was happening. Most of all their little bodies housed such large hearts that my heart expanded just watching them. I still remember my five year old holding his hand out to me on our first visit to the sea, saying – Mumma don’t be scared, I’m here na!
To all their friends too I owe gratitude. Their love, innocence and sharing has gratified me in more ways than I can express. They made the words annu aunty sound as sweet as Mumma! In listening to their concerns and complains my capacity to empathise grew.
The greatest support I had in performing my role as the mother when my kids were young was that of my mother in law, their grandmother! Irrespective of what else happened in our lives, I never had to worry about my kids being hungry. I could devote long hours at work, reassured of her presence back home! We may have had differences in how kids had to be raised, but not for a moment did I have to worry that she didn’t have their best interest at heart. In fact, when my marriage collapsed, I still wanted her to by my side, even though the man due to whom the relationship had begun no longer was by my side! For my Mom in law I have gratitude not only for the Mom she was to me, but also for the Mom she made me capable of being!
To my Brothers and Bhabhis who pitched- in in every way possible while I coped with my role as single Mom my heartfelt gratitude. When my older born refers to his Maami as Bangalore mumma, my heart wells up. It is a testimony of her contribution to my children’s lives. For the Bhabhi who took my boys for swimming lessons and baked them cookies and made them Nimbu paani, it is in your kitchen that these young lads first dabbled in cooking. I may get accolades for raising such fine young men and being a swell Mom, but I know I haven’t done it alone.
To the Nana-Nani who helped cultivate responsibility towards school work and appreciation of all things simple, I owe thanks not just for raising me, but also for helping me raise my kids. To the Aunt from Ranchi who came specially to stay with my kids when the household help was on long leave, to the Boss who gave me flexi hours at work so I could devote more time with my kids, to the friend who woke up at wee hours of the morning to help my son stranded with a flat tyre on a lonely stretch, to the friend who stayed with my kids when I had to be away, to the landlord who took my sick child to the Doctor when Mum was not in town, to the Doctor who came rushing at 6 am to attend to my sick child….my heartfelt thanks. My role as mother could be performed cause I had all your help. I have received help from friends, neighbours, relatives, maids, drivers, tutors, teachers and even strangers! My thanks to the Universe that gave me the joy of motherhood and access to the support system that enabled me to perform that role!